And not one of them is death, because dogs have far more to teach us about living than they do about dying. As adults we can learn a lot from our dogs, but for our children, they have invaluable lessons.
1. Consideration and empathy
You know all those videos on the Internet, where babies and young children lie all over a dog? The ones where the child is chuckling, the adults are laughing, and the dog gazes dolefully at the camera. Cute aren’t they?
No.
Take another look. What they are is disasters waiting to happen. Everyone is happy except for the dog, and if you can read canine body language, you know that the poor dog is trying his best to communicate, “I am truly unhappy and uncomfortable. I don’t like this, and I am trying to be a good dog and put up with this because you seem to like it, but I don’t know how much more I can tolerate. Please make it stop.”
Dog bites don’t just happen out of the blue; there is a whole raft of behaviours - some subtle, some more obvious - that the dog will have exhibited. If the humans involved miss these behaviours, or choose to ignore them, it can escalate into a stressed dog snapping. Nobody wants that, least of all the dog. The answer is that we need not only to train our dogs, but to teach our children how to interact with dogs safely and respectfully.
Dogs are not toys; they are sentient beings. They have emotions, thoughts, needs, even dreams, and learning to appreciate this can engender a healthy sense of empathy in your child. Fortunately, with a few pointers from you, your child will pick this up, because the other thing your dog will teach is…
2. Love
We’re talking selfless, unconditional love here, because that’s how dogs love. Stop and think how many times your child asks you to play, or to sit and watch something with them, or read something to them… I could go on, but the aim is not to make you feel guilty, you’re a busy person, I know that. The point is that your dog will never take that attitude to your child. A dog is always ready to be a great companion, whether that’s playing in the garden, or snuggling on the sofa. Dogs love people, that’s why the human-canine bond has lasted so long – thousands of years in fact – and why we find them so irresistible.
It’s a fantastic example for your child of how to feel and show love. Watch your dog when someone arrives home – their tail will wag, their eyes will light up, and they’ll focus on the newcomer, letting them know how important they are. How many of us can say we greet family or friends like that? Maybe we should.
3. Road safety
Even the best regulated child can forget road safety when they’re distracted or excited, but helping to teach a dog to wait at the kerb can help drum into them the importance of taking their time when they cross a road. There are two reasons for this, one is simply the repetitive nature of making sure the dog sits at every kerb they come to; repetition is a very effective reinforcement. The other is that remembering a rule for someone else’s benefit, particularly someone they love – the dog in this case – can motivate children more than recalling instructions for their own good. It also makes the child feel grown-up and responsible to be in charge of something so important.
If your child is too young to reliably hold the dog’s lead, they can still tell the dog to sit at the kerb, while you handle the lead. Most children enjoy being involved in teaching the family dog like this, and that brings us on to…
4. Training
Most dogs love training, especially if they’re given rewards and you make it fun for them by using games – much like children! And training their dog can help children realise that learning can be fun. Even younger children can be involved in an activity like ensuring the dog sits before he gets his meal, or in hiding a dog toy in the garden – or house on wet days – for the dog to sniff out. Talk to your child about rewarding the dog when he’s done well, either with food, praise or toys. When you’ve mastered the basics, there is a huge variety of trick behaviours you can move onto, and then of course there’s doggy dancing. TV talent shows have featured heelwork to music in recent years, and it has inspired children to want to dance with their dog.
Since this can start as simply as walking to music with your dog at your side, this is easily achievable. Thinking up more moves will appeal to a child’s imaginative nature, and they will love showing off their routines to friends and family.
5. Confidence and communication
It’s a strange side effect of having a dog, that it leads us to interact with other people more. Often this can be because we want to tell them about our dog, and how special they are, very similar to parents wanting to tell people about their children. Ask a child about their dog, and be prepared to listen for a while, as they regale you with stories about what he gets up to. This urge to share stories about their dog can encourage even the shyest child to become quite chatty with their peers, and with grown-ups they encounter too.
If you have a dog, the chances are you’ve already experienced the fact that a dog is a great ice-breaker, and how easy it is to get into conversations, particularly with other dog walkers. Our kids can benefit from this too.
6. Food manners
Food is very important to dogs, and probably very important to your child too, so it soon becomes clear that some ground rules need to be established. Luckily, dogs are good at following rules that are consistently applied, and making sure their tea doesn’t end up in the dog’s stomach rather than their own leads children to appreciate them too. Sitting up to a table to eat is an easy way to ensure the dog (unless it’s a huge one) simply can’t access human dinner. Make it a rule that if the dog has left you all alone and sat or lay calmly, your child can give him a morsel of something tasty at the end of the meal. This may have to be on a turn basis if you have several children – or you could reward the child who has eaten the most, or tried something new, by letting them treat the dog.
Children will enjoy training a dog or puppy to learn to sit before he has access to his own dish. If you hold the dog on the lead, and your child holds the dog’s dish and tells the dog to sit, this lesson is easily taught. It will improve the bond between your child and dog as the dog sees the child as a source of good things, and as a person to be respected and obeyed. It gives your child the satisfaction of helping to train the dog, and underlines that food is a valid tool in dog training.
So here’s to calmer, more civilised meal times!
7. Tidiness
In my experience, this is something that the dog will encourage all on his own, because once he has chewed a toy or two that your child carelessly left within his reach, your child will begin to place his toys higher, or into cupboards. And all without any nagging from you!
You do need to make sure that your child has cupboards, shelves or boxes for his belongings, and that he knows where his toys should go, and the dog will do the rest for you. On a safety note, if a toy has small parts a dog could swallow, you will need to ensure it is out of his way, or alternatively protect his bedroom with a child gate (these can be incredibly useful with a dog in the house).
As an interesting add on to this, your child could teach the dog to tidy up his own toys. This is easier with breeds who take naturally to picking up and carrying items, like gundogs, but is achievable with most dogs, with patient and positive training. Start simply, and this can be fun for dog and child, and encourage your child to follow suit and tidy up his own toys.
8. Safety around other dogs
Once your child has learned to respect his own dog, he will have gained an understanding that all dogs have feelings which need to be considered. Now he just needs to know that the first time he approaches a dog he’s never met before, he needs to be more cautious than with his own dog. You can make this fun for your child by having him teach any friends who visit your house, how they should greet your dog. The easiest way to teach this is to tell the child to hold their arm towards the dog, hand bunched into a fist, which the dog can sniff. If the dog is happy, the child can then stroke him gently under the chin – stroking under the chin is a more friendly approach than going straight for the top of the head. By teaching his friends the right way to greet his own dog, the correct method will stick in your child’s mind.
9. Enjoying exercise
One thing you can’t get away from is that if you have a dog, you will have to walk it. Even the smallest, or most laidback, of dogs will appreciate the chance to get out and have a good sniff, even if they don’t want to hike for miles. Most dogs however, will want a significant amount of exercise, and this can provide a really effective motivation to get your children out and about too. If you have access to a safe area in which the dog can be allowed off lead, a football, tennis ball or Frisbee can provide hours of fun for your dog and child. For more active dogs, let your child throw the tennis ball using a plastic flinger, or hit it with a tennis racquet to send it further.
Just as humans can wear pedometers to keep track of their activity, dogs can too. Some devices can be connected to a mobile phone, enabling children to see how they are benefitting their dog by being active with them. Another activity that can accommodate children, dogs and technology is geocaching – a sort of treasure hunt using GPS. Give it a try!
10. Reading – yes, reading!
Believe it or not, your dog can help your child’s reading. Think about it - when your child reads to you, or to an adult at school, you correct him, rather than simply accepting and enjoying his reading. This may be necessary, but it can chip away at your child’s confidence. Contrast with that the family dog, who sits listening with rapt attention, staring lovingly at your child, never criticising or even commenting. This is such a boost for your child that his confidence in reading grows. The proof of this phenomena is that there are so called reading dogs, who visit schools to encouraging children to read simply by listening to them. Maybe that’s a lesson for adults – the importance of listening to children can’t be underestimated – but that’s a different blogpost!